If there's one thing all cheaters have in common, it's a busy, overwhelmed mind. As Mark Twain said, ‘If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything'. It goes without saying that careful cheaters must remember a ton of things.
‘Men are biologically incapable of comprehending female reasoning‘ – we've all heard arguments similar to this one at some point. But is there really anything otherworldly to it? What exactly is occupying the thoughts of disloyal women, and how does it show in their everyday behavior? Let's see what science has to offer in this regard.
Psychological Facts About Cheating Women
In 2011, an international research group conducted a study of cheating patterns in hetero couples. A survey of about 1000 respondents revealed, among other things, that female infidelity psychology is indeed different and more susceptible to the following factors:
- Partner's emotional neglect or detachment;
- Feeling unnoticed or underappreciated;
- Milestone events that influence the couple's life (moving house, pregnancy and parenting, career moves, or employment/unemployment).
The study also provides some figures: the percentage of women cheating due to these or related factors equals 19.2%. Thus, your odds of being betrayed in a relationship are about 1 to 4, which doesn't look too bad at first glance. However, if you consider the disruptive factors exclusive to your relationship, the real number might be way less optimistic, so it wouldn't hurt to familiarize yourself with the signs of a cheater female, just in case.
32 Characteristics of a Cheating Woman
The list below is our most diligent attempt at gathering all the typical behaviors displayed by cheating women to date. When comparing your partner's words and actions to what you'll read next, remember to consider the context and double-check the facts before arriving at any conclusions.
You'd be hard-pressed to think of any life scenario other than a game of poker where dealing in falsehoods is a merit. If your sweetheart has a long-standing habit of decorating the truth in mundane situations, it doesn't automatically equate to her being a cheater. However, you can rest assured she will use those deception skills acquired through years of training when the time comes.
2. Secretive Behavior
An unfaithful woman, even one that is most careful in her affairs, will sooner or later miss a detail that would betray the true state of things. The first signals you'll notice are usually non-verbal and get manifested through visible anxiety and micro-aggression whenever you happen to approach the items that may contain or be the clues. It's almost like how a metal detector works, but beware of the false positives – maybe it's just your birthday present that she's hiding.
3. Refusal to Seek Help for Issues in Relationship
Guilty conscience, which develops in most cases of cheating, requires a coping mechanism in order to carry on with the daily routine. Often, women see the possible solution in active denial of any problems in a relationship. This defensive strategy is used to cover up her embarrassment, excitement, or both, and you can work with that if you believe in your future together. There is little you can do, though, when she acts this way to disguise indifference.
4. Flirting with Random People
One of the classic telltale signs of women's infidelity is excessive flirting with strangers. While flirting in and of itself isn't necessarily bad, it can be a slippery slope if not kept in check. Women who are feeling unfulfilled in their current relationship may turn to flirting as a way to feel desired and attractive. It's not like flirting with a childhood friend she has known for years improves the situation, but that could, at least, be their inside joke of sorts.
5. Lack of Commitment
Both partners must contribute to a relationship – that's an immutable truth. If she hesitates to make future plans with you or avoids discussing serious matters, this may indicate a fear of emotional intimacy or a desire to keep her options open. If the obstacle you've encountered can't be solved otherwise, keep the gentle pressure until she gives in or admits her reluctance.
6. Inconsistent Communication
A woman most likely to cheat is often evasive or vague when it comes to serious talk, making it impossible to have an earnest, frank dialogue. She may also be inconsistent with her remote conversations, providing lame excuses for why she can't be reached. If she hadn't been like that since the day you met, it's best that you put the issue in the starkest terms and demand an answer.
If the amount of ‘can'ts' and ‘don't wants' in your day-to-day interaction has seen a rapid increase, don't shrug it off by thinking it's a particularly bad case of periods. Any radical shift in her ways deserves scrutiny, so you should double your alertness when listening to her excuses and try to read between the lines.
8. Sudden Changes in Behavior or Appearance
While you shouldn't think that a new hairdo means she will cheat on you tomorrow, a series of visible embellishments or newly-acquired routines are a reason to stay vigilant. Be sure to clearly express your surprise caused by such a radical shift and maybe compliment her if it's for the better. Doing both increases your chances of getting a meaningful and honest answer – or something almost as good.
9. Keeping Secrets from Partner
Everyone has the right to a private locker, even if it's a lifelong relationship, so it's vital that you have other evidence before confronting her on the matter. Of course, you must get alarmed if things are getting obviously out of hand – for instance, if it's impossible to establish what she's been up to for days or even longer.
10. Refusal to Discuss Certain Topics
Again, you must recognize the topics that are conversation killers in your relationship – for instance, there aren't too many women fond of listening to the stories about your previous amorous escapades. Nevertheless, some women who cheat certainly avoid treading on shaky verbal grounds for fear of blurting out a suspicious detail or two.
11. Unwillingness to Compromise
Remember how she skipped her best friend's birthday or an important meeting at work just to spend another hour with you? Now, all of a sudden, it's always her who picks the restaurant for date night or even decides whether it's time to move in together. If she refuses to budge on anything, it could be a sign that her own desires matter more than what you've built in the relationship, and cheating may be just around the corner.
12. Disrespectful Behavior
Being a jerk toward you is one of the most prominent traits of a cheating woman. Did she take to belittling or humiliating you in front of others or denying you the right to an opinion? Such behavior not only damages the relationship but also indicates that someone more worthy of her praise is looming on the horizon. It's time to talk it out and emphasize your feelings.
13. She Is a Narcissist
The person who loves herself more than anything in the world will most likely make you unhappy – you will be trying to change her in vain. Most likely, even before the moment of her cheating, you will feel somewhere on the sidelines but definitely not in her priority.
14. Lack of Remorse
An ego-centric mind is always quick to write off any pangs of conscience as a trifling matter undeserving of their time. You'll be quick to notice such behavior in those chronically unable to feel remorse. The bad part is that such an attitude can develop over time, and you may miss the point of no return. If you don't see a shred of guilt in her eyes when she hurts you with words or actions, assume the worst.
15. Keeping Personal Items or Clothing at Someone Else's House
Her belongings at someone else's house is an obvious reason to start asking questions. If you somehow got wind of her toothbrush or spare clothes moving into a coworker's place, it's possible she's been spending more time there than she is willing to admit. Surely they could just be working on a project that requires face-to-face overnight sessions, and he has a girlfriend anyway, so… We'll just stop here before it gets too absurd.
16. Constantly Seeking Attention or Validation from Others
One of the common sentiments in sociology circles is that social media has distorted the natural validation mechanisms beyond recognition. Your partner, along with millions of women, now has an inexhaustible source of attention on her hands, and not many opt to limit its influence on their life. As a result, she may easily fall for some charming Internet stranger if he is persuasive enough.
17. Lack of Interest in Partner's Feelings or Needs
The daily routine is the most fearsome and unrelenting force in the universe – given enough time, it will grind down even a match made in heaven. This shouldn't mean, however, that her involvement in your world comes with an expiry date. In an optimal relationship, you give it all when you can and maybe fake it a bit when you're out of juice and need an emotional reboot. Offering neither for weeks or months on end surely belongs to the signs your wife is cheating.
18. Disinterest in Intimacy with Partner
A lack of sexual desire, reluctance to be physically close, or avoidance of physical contact are all alarming to a certain extent. It's not always that disinterest in intimacy indicates infidelity – there may be other underlying causes, such as stress or health issues. If you've noticed a significant decline in physical affection or intimacy, it's worth exploring the reasons – it can be the lack of vitamins in her new diet, or, well, she may indeed be quenching her sensual thirst elsewhere.
19. Excessive Use of Social Media
An ungodly amount of time habitually wasted on social media creates an illusion of connection with strangers, leading to her emotional detachment. If her eyes are constantly riveted to the phone, you must look for other signs she's cheating. It makes sense to call her out for that and have an honest talk about the balance between likes on Instagram and your life together.
20. She Easily Breaks Taboos
The veil of love gradually dissipates, and you clearly see that it is too “wild” for you. Yes, she knows how to spice things up, but she also has no idea how to stop. Planning something with a girl with such a temperament is not possible – unless, of course, you are ready to be abandoned when she finds herself a new hero-lover.
21. Refusal to Introduce Partner to Friends or Family
If she is unwilling to integrate you into their social circle, it could be because she has doubts about your future together or wants to avoid questions about her relationship status. It's natural to have some hesitation about introducing a new partner, but if she remains adamant about it for too long, it may mean she's already exploring some other options.
22. Blaming Partner for Problems in Relationships
One of the undeniable psychological facts about cheating women is that they tend to disclaim any responsibility for the problems in their ‘official' relationship. By placing the blame solely on you, she attempts to justify her own actions and choices. A regular habit of doing so breeds a toxic dynamic in the relationship and can ultimately damage it beyond repair.
23. Refusal to Work on Issues in Relationship
When she sees no point in resolving the lingering conflicts, it is a fair warning that your woman's building an escape route in her mind. She may avoid talking in earnest, refuse to attend counseling, or never give ground when discussing the state of your romance. If she is not willing to put in the effort to make things work, it may be one of the signs your girlfriend is cheating and has already emotionally checked out of the relationship.
24. Taking Unexplained Trips or Vacations
Going overseas is a great way to unwind – and culturally enrich yourself with some foreign courtship traditions. If she's suddenly jet-setting without you and making excuses for why you can't come along, it may imply she is seeing someone else. Keep an eye out for other signs of infidelity, like unexplained and significant expenses, and consider meeting her at the airport with a bouquet of ripe, blossoming questions.
25. Making Plans Without Including Partner
Planning a weekend getaway or a night out with friends without you is perfectly in line with the characteristics of a cheating woman. If that looks like your case, and you don't feel neglected and isolated yet, maybe that's how your relationship has always been, and there's no need to fret. For most of us, though, it's a strong signal that the partner's priorities have changed.
26. Lying About Whereabouts or Activities
Frequent unexplained absences, contradictory stories about her day, or other suspicious behaviors leave no room for explanations other than her being a cheat. You can confront her about it directly, but it makes more sense to play sleuth a little longer and collect enough evidence she won't be able to refute.
27. Using Dating Apps While in a Relationship
This one's a little too obvious, but we shall still include it for the sake of completeness. Having fun with dating apps while in a committed relationship is one of those signs your wife likes another man (or men) you simply can't ignore. If she is swiping left and right, even if it's ‘for entertainment', maybe you should start doing the same and see her reaction to that?
28. Refusal to Give Partner Access to Phone or Social Media Accounts
We're three steps away from completing this list, so it's about time we covered some controversial facts about a cheating woman. You'd probably agree that in a normal relationship, there are hardly any reasons to demand a password for your partner's messenger of choice. However, if she outright refuses to prove her innocence after being confronted with evidence, this can only mean two things: she values her privacy more than being your girlfriend, or she is afraid of what you might see there.
29. Accusing Partner of Being Controlling or Jealous
Remember all those tricks you used to divert attention from your own wrongdoings as a kid? Blaming someone for what you are secretly doing yourself is extremely childish, but many will resort to that if they can't think of a better cover-up. If she applies such reversal psychology to you, even though you both know this is complete nonsense, you must not tolerate this. Don't let her accusations make you feel guilty for asking questions or expressing concerns about her actions.
30. Lack of Commitment to Monogamy in General
Do you remember having agreed to an ‘open' relationship based on polyamory? If not, do not buy her arguments about monogamy being too restrictive or unrealistic and that she struggles with maintaining a committed relationship. By the way, has she ever opened up on her history of cheating in past relationships? This might explain a lot in her current behavior. Surely enough, a lack of commitment can make her crave extramarital affairs and consider it perfectly fine.
31. Refusal to Follow Through on Commitments
The devil is always in the details that we often fail to notice until it all gets out of hand. Large deposits of forgiveness are usually included in the romantic attachment and make it possible to ignore her small whims like being late or changing plans in her favor. A man thus finds himself in the role of a boiling frog, slowly getting used to the reality where he doesn't matter much.
32. Lack of Empathy
The total absence of compassion is rare to come by in real life and is often associated with mental disorders. It's highly unlikely that you have built a meaningful relationship with a full-blown psychopath, even though Ben Affleck in Gone Girl the movie begs to differ. However, if she did turn into an impenetrable slab of ice, it is possible her warmth is now redirected at someone else.
33.Those with Chronic Dissatisfaction
There are many things a woman can be dissatisfied with: bedroom activity, financial issues, lack of understanding…
But there is a special category of women who suffer from so-called “chronic dissatisfaction.” It basically boils down to two things: not accepting reality, and not actively working on changing something. Such people are prone to cheating because they feel that others are responsible for their comfort. When one person is not able to fulfill expectations, they may turn to someone else.
34. Those who're in a Relationship with Your Wallet
Of course, husbands who had the privilege of getting a trophy wife aren't innocents hoodwinked by some vixens who take them for their money. They're aware of what they put themselves into. However, sometimes it may be hard to tell from the onset that the woman is using you just for your money, especially if she has a well-planned scenario that worked on other men.
If a woman is fixated on material wealth, then she will probably move on once you run out of money. Cheating can be a part of her plan because she might not even find you attractive (yeah). In this case, she'll have someone out there purely for her satisfaction, while you'll be solving her problems because you're “family.”
There also can be a surefire sign that your gf is flirting with other guys but you might be too blind with feelings to recognize it. But don't worry; we've outlined some major signs below.
How to Catch a Cheating Woman?
It can be very difficult to catch a married woman or a girl cheating, because, most likely, she has already thought through all the options in case you are snooping around. If you see signs your wife is cheating, do not rush to lament.
From one method to another, you will be able to find a weak point and get hard evidence to confront her:
- First, make sure that at least a few characteristics from this article match the behavior of your missus. Then begin to act.
- Get where you can. Secretly check her gadgets for suspicious calls, chats, and applications. Don't forget about her browser history.
- For partners of especially vigilant ladies, there is an offer of apps for monitoring locations, chats, and calls. You can also get the use of free location services like Find My iPhone.
- Drop by for a surprise visit to her school or work or meet her after her extra activities or hobbies.
What Cheating Does to a Woman
Before we say anything else, you must understand and accept the fact that cheating may actually make your partner a happier woman – at least, until those honeymoon vibes start wearing off.
Things don't look too bright in the long run, though. Often, a cheater is tempted to resort to deception again, ultimately ruining a relationship built on hypocrisy. It is also not unusual for women to gradually develop an all-devouring feeling of remorse – especially after her new affair turns out different from what she expected.
Don't be surprised when you get a tearful call in the middle of the night a year after she floated away on the wings of newly-found passion. When the moment comes, be sure to remember what she did to you before heeding her pleas.
Do Women Cheat More Than Men?
The numbers still speak in favor of women, and it will take them more time (if ever) to catch up with men. Recent statistics show that infidelity among men and women tends to reduce the previously existing large gap between the two sexes. And the number of cheating women has increased significantly even compared to a few decades ago – by a whopping 40%.
FAQs on the Psychological Facts of Cheating Women
This FAQ was written to help you learn more about the different psychological facts and traits about cheating women and how to recognize them:
How To Tell If Your Girlfriend Is Cheating? ⭐
Her behavioral patterns change dramatically. She may become more secretive, withdraw emotionally from you, or act overly nice to you. All this can also be accompanied by frequent outings and a sudden lull in your sex life.
What Are The Signs That She Cheated And Feels Guilty? ⭐
Depending on the types of cheating in a relationship – emotional, physical, or both – a woman may feel guilty in different ways. In some cases, she will try to cajole you or manipulate you into putting the blame on you.
Do All Women Cheat? ⭐
No. Women statistically cheat less than men, and not even all men cheat. Girls may have some psychological, social, and other reasons for being unfaithful. But by no means should you be completely disappointed in relationships, even if you failed.
How To Know If Your Wife Is Cheating? ⭐
Perhaps it's time for you to become more attentive if your wife suddenly has a lot of secrets from you. Red-flag alerts for you might be a change in behavior to more toxic, her unwillingness to make eye contact with you, meetings or activities that prevent you from spending time together, just to name a few.
How Does Cheating Affect A Woman? ⭐
It all depends on her temperament and your relationship. Some women may suffer and be tormented by remorse for what they have done. Others drastically change their habits, improve their appearance, and try to look better.
What Percent Of Married Women Cheat? ⭐
Figures show that only 13% of married women confessed to adultery, while for men, the figure is 20%. Interestingly, the most common female fidelity-breaker in the US is a cheating mature wife in her 60s.
What Do All Cheaters Have In Common? ⭐
It's hard to single out just one thing all cheaters have in common. And yet, the art of lying allows them to commit adultery and stay afloat for the time being like nothing else.
How Do You Tell if Your Girlfriend is Lying About Cheating on You? ⭐
Liars' lives are quite weird in general. You can tell it's different if you have something to compare with. They can be really self-assured, because, to go unnoticed, you should be a very good actor. The most interesting thing is that liars often believe in their own lies. The mind of a liar just erases the line between reality and their fantasies. Even if you catch your spouse cheating, she may be fairly surprised and start denying everything: because she used to play the role of a good wife for so long, it will be hard for her to give it up.
How Do You Know if Your Woman is Cheating on You in a Long-Distance Relationship?
You have two ways:
1) to ask your friend who lives in her city to follow her and find out;
2) to use technology that allows you to access her phone instantly. We're not here to promote anything but based on our clients' reviews & preferences; you won't find an easier way than using this software. It'll cost you less than 30 bucks a month but give you access to everything you need.
Final Thoughts: Why Women Lie and Cheat
Whether it's the thrill of romancing undercover or simply the combination of the lover's individual traits, the reasons women cheat are always deeply rooted in their self-esteem and emotional balance that they seek to improve.
No matter the thought process that convinced her to look for elation elsewhere, she is entitled to one chance to explain herself. If it works, there may be hope for your relationship. If not – it's best to let go. The main takeaway is this: you decide what counts for commitment and interest. Do not succumb to her attempts to downplay the whole thing, or else you'll be tempted to hear and believe a very different story about why women cheat.