Remember the time when your stomach flips when you're around a particular person? It feels weird, amazingly weird, sometimes even like a jolt of electricity coursing through your body.
Even if you haven't fully realized it yet, your brain is signaling you in such a way that you're attracted to someone, either physically or emotionally.
Do you think this “spark” can be felt by one person, or can it only happen if it's between two people?
We asked specialists to break it down.
What is Sexual Tension?
Sexual tension tells you there is a need to engage in sexual activity with some person to ease the tension in the air between you two.
For different people, the nature of sexual drive may vary: some feel it quite often, and it's more a desire for physical closeness, while others can experience sexual attraction in the context of a close, emotional bond.
It takes two people to create sexual tension. But it doesn't mean it cannot be just a picture in your head.
To understand if the woman is attracted to you, or is this just a one-side story, we've put down these 15 telltale signs to make sure the feeling is mutual. For, if you know how to read a body language, it becomes clear as glass.
Another thing is that guys sometimes wait until they're 100% sure she is interested, or even wait for a sign of flirting. It can be done to feel safer before making a move.
“The truth is, you only need a few signs from below to ensure she's attracted to you. Because in a way, girls are the ones who pick up the line.”
Elizabeth Harrington
Psychologist, family therapist
Go through these signs summoned up by us to see if there is something you recognize. Signs a woman is sexually attracted to you:
1. Your conversations become very weird
By definition, tension is …well, tense. It requires resolution, and when it doesn't happen, a whole lot of awkward situations may occur.
Especially when it comes to conversations: she struggles to pick up the topic, talking about some banal stuff, laughing at your creepy jokes, or just froze, trying to sort out her thoughts.
Other awkward moments may accompany the whole embarrassment: bumping into each other, she banging her head on the opened microwave door (ok, this rarely happens, but you've got the point).
2. What about that eye contact?
What about it? We were just talking. Really? Were you just. talking? Or was she also catching your gaze?
When there's a strong sexual tension or interest, our eyes can make that perfectly clear. Here is the full guide on what different eye contacts mean.
3. She's examining you
If there is sexual tension between you two, you'll find her occasionally staring at different parts of your body. You can feel her glance at you while you're talking, for example. She may find something about you particularly fascinating, or if she's uncertain, she can stare to get a better feel or read on you.
4. She strives for proximity
You might notice she's suddenly very close to you. She originally was in the other side of the room, and here you are, together at the same table again. It seems she's everywhere you go. And when you two are talking, she's moving closer.
5. She playfully touches you
Touching is obviously a non-verbal communication that frankly means a lot of things. It can be just a way to emphasize the point in conversation, however, if she is constantly touchy-feely throughout your interactions, she may want to show she's open to physical contact with you.
We naturally want connection through physical touch, but we usually go for it if we approve of the person. We won't feel free to touch a person who we don't like. If a woman is sexually attracted to you, she may touch you occasionally because she gets heated up with you around.
6. She keeps flicking her hair in conversation
Playing with hair, biting lips could be nervous moves due to her attempts to conceal intense attraction. She can play with her hair, push her arm through her hair, tuck behind her ear, cross legs, chew pen — all referred to anxiety-coping behavior. Her emotional struggle can be caused by her intense attraction to you, in case she's scared to take a leap of faith.
7. Other people might well notice it
Can other people around feel the sexual tension between you and this girl? You might find it weird to directly ask your friends what happens when you two are in the same room, but it's likely they already sense it.
When sexual tension is at play between two people, others around might well notice it.
8. She suddenly ignores you
The logic: many women are taught not to chase men, so they would better die alone than approach someone. Again, the change happens suddenly: one day you're friends, and just out of blue she avoids eye contact, pretends to be busy on her phone while you engage in conversation, confusedly leaving a room with you coming in, etc.
It takes place because, at some level, you trigger her vulnerability. Remember: “People will do more to avoid pain than they will do to gain pleasure.” It doesn't matter if she's above you at work or not; if she conflicts with her feelings, she will act like a little girl, trying to conceal her attraction.
9. She notices changes in you
Because she's attracted to you, she's probably thinking about you much. That's why when you get a new haircut or buy new clothes that flatter, she'll be the one who notices it and compliments you.
Eventually, you might notice she gives you all her attention: puts down her phone when you're approaching, gets too personal, cut other conversations to answer you.
10. She's preening when seeing your approach
As a whole, it's a normal reaction of a woman to flick her hair or straighten her clothes from time to time, despite the mood. However, if she is continuously grooming herself whenever you come by, pulling his stomach in, adjusting her clothes, that's maybe a clear indication she shows her sexual interest in you.
11. She talks softly
If she's leaning in to help you with a document a little closer than she strictly needs to, talking in a soft voice, that's a subtle sign she's interested in you. Her voice can be so gentle and pleasant; it makes you melt. Usually, women don't do it intentionally: if their sexual attraction is magnetic but soft, they might express their feelings like that.
12. She smiles and laughs much more frequently
If a woman likes you, she'll smile a lot. She'll enjoy your discourse, bantering back and forth with you. What others may perceive as your lamest jokes, she might find funny. It doesn't mean she fakes it; maybe she truly thinks they're hilarious!
Her constant laughing indicates that she feels relaxed around you. It's not that much about jokes, but sometimes about social bonding, which we use to show people that we like them and understand them. If your female friend laughs a lot when with you, it can mean you're good friends, or she's really into you. Whenever a woman feels confident, good, and relaxed around a man, the line between liking and developing sexual drive becomes thinner.
13. She reveals her neck
Pay attention to whether she exposes her neck or not. Women like revealing necks, especially when they feel attracted to someone. The neck has so many nerve endings: the light touch can make the whole body tingle. If she's driven with you around, she might touch it slightly absolutely unintentionally.
Furthermore, the neck is the most vulnerable part of the body, and when a girl exposes it, she shows her trust and obedience. It can happen absolutely naturally, so if you spot her canting the head to the side, so it looks alluring to you, then it's an obvious sign she's interested in you or sexually driven.
14. She talks about you to other people
Does she talk about you to other people, or better yet, shares about how nice and funny you are?
If a woman is into you, she'll talk about you to your mutual friends, mention you in conversations with co-workers, etc. The more your name is on her tongue, the more it's about you in her head.
15. She immediately texts you back
You know the old rule, “If you don't get a message, you get the message.” It will never happen with a woman who's interested in you. Immediately responding to a message is a hint that she doesn't take your attention for granted.
16. She makes fun of you (light-heartedly)
Humour is a defensive mechanism for many. Women can too, make jokes in a “your good at taking jokes” way if they're attracted to someone and are afraid of the feeling.
Does it make you feel good? If it's light-hearted humor, then it might be her method to ease the tension between you two, if she knows the other way is impossible.
17. She looks her best around you
The top of the cake is the most obvious sign. Of course, if a woman feels attracted to you, she will go to a great length to look stunning. She will do her makeup ultra-carefully, wear enticing lingerie, her walk is suddenly model-sexy, etc. If you can spot a drastic change in her look, and all the other signs are obvious too, then altogether it makes the deal just transparent.
Although some girls would never chase guys they like, the signs or clues or whatever you want to name them are ALWAYS there.
Want to know more about this topic? Check out our latest post about emotional affairs and how to recognize one.
FAQS: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
Dear Elizabeth,
– How do you tell if a woman is attracted to you at work?
A: The most obvious sign would be her getting personal: she takes time out of her day to ask how your weekend was, calls or texts you outside of work, tells you about your friends, family. A girl who opens up to you definitely likes you. This doesn’t mean he’ll ultimately want a relationship, though.
– How do you tell if a female coworker is interested or just being friendly?
A: Messaging you a lot and talking to you for many hours can be confused with a crush. But it does not necessarily mean she’s attracted. She may feel good with you as a friend. However, if she gets confused around you; if you can feel the tension in the air — it indicates she feels something more.
– How do you know if a girl likes you but is hiding it?
A: The clearest sign would be her behaving weird. Imagine that it’s hard for that girl to prevent thoughts from wandering off to you, the object of her tension. Of course, she’ll be nervous around you. Plus, her constant staring at you and lowering eyes the next second also indicates she is into you!
– How do you know a married woman is attracted to you?
A: The chances are low that a married woman will come up to you and express her feelings, but it may be hard for her to conceal the feelings: she will try to get close to you, laughs at your jokes, gets personal, might act jealous if she sees you with someone else.
A married woman can also open up to you about her problems, trying to find support. Pay attention to the eye contact: does she stare at you and then looks away shyly? Next time she immediately looks away, keep looking at her for another few seconds. If she looks at you a second time, it’s an indication of her interest.
I’ll admit to being a bit of a picky when it comes to picking up women. I’m definitely not one of the guys who will just go on a date with anyone, even if she’s cute and funny, because I feel like that kind of dating is ultimately pointless; I don’t get any reciprocation and have no idea where it goes from there. But that hasn’t stopped me from going on dates with women who are attractive and interesting.
I have had several dates with attractive women in my life, but none of them have been particularly memorable. So I was surprised when one-day last week (I think it was Tuesday) I was madly attracted to one girl, but I didn’t catch any indication that she was interested in me.
nd after reading the article, I realized that at least 6 signs indicated that she liked me too. I am insanely happy! 🙂
Men are more likely to have a greater range of sexual behaviors compared to women.