Nothing can wreak havoc on a marriage faster than discovering that your wife is cheating on you. Finding someone you can trust with your love is hard enough, so finding out that person has broken your bond can be devastating.
Of course, not everything your wife does necessarily means that she’s having an affair. Sometimes, changes in behavior happen for a helluva lot of reasons. That said, there are still some subtle and not-so-subtle signs that indicate that your wife is cheating, which we’ll cover in this article. We’ll also briefly talk about how to deal with the situation.
Without further ado, here are the signs your wife is cheating.
Why Wives Cheat on Their Husbands
Several reasons can be behind infidelity, including:
Dissatisfaction in a Relationship 😒
This is the underlying reason behind the majority of motivations for infidelity.
Here’s how it usually goes:
- First, a married woman feels that her relationship isn’t satisfying. The satisfaction we’re talking about here can be emotional, sexual, physical, or financial.
- The unsatisfied wife becomes open to the possibility of cheating to find the needed satisfaction elsewhere, all while justifying it by saying that her relationship is in a bad patch.
- Then, an opportunity arises for her, and instead of stopping to think, she goes with it and justifies it by telling herself that her partner doesn’t care anyway, so the act must be completely innocent. She can even use the affair as a catalyst to end her current relationship, which can happen consciously or unconsciously.
Low Self-Esteem 😔
If a woman struggles with low self-esteem and her husband cannot create and sustain the validation she needs, she may start looking for attention and validation elsewhere.
When a woman uses affairs as proof of her value or desirability, she creates a vicious cycle for herself. That’s because once one fling ends, she quickly starts looking for the next one to preserve her self-esteem, turning herself into a “serial cheater.”
Affairs that are caused by anger usually happen when a woman enters into a relationship with unrealistic expectations about how her partner should be and behave. Once her partner fails to meet those expectations, a divide in the relationship is created, and she starts looking for someone else to meet her every need and desire.
Some wives may resent their partners for other reasons. For example, a woman may find out about something bad her husband did in the past and use her own infidelity as retaliation.
Sexual Deprivation 💑
The beginning stages of a relationship are full of passion and intrigue. Later on, the excitement starts fading naturally, and the familiarity eventually overtakes the quality and frequency of sex. Many cheating women miss those thrilling hallmarks of a relationship’s early stages, so they start pursuing a new romantic interest to reach them.
Serial cheaters commit infidelity for similar reasons. They cheat for the thrill of it. Such individuals may love their partners to death yet yearn for those adrenaline-fueled thrills that make a new romantic pursuit so exciting. After all, whether we like it or not, family life can be boring at times, and affairs may look like the perfect solution for that to certain women.
Most acts of infidelity aren’t premeditated. They usually result from an unexpected opportunity. The cheating partner (before the act) feels down and crosses paths with someone in a similar boat. They start commiserating it, and, before they know it, they’re having an affair. It kind of just happens, and it can happen physically in real life or digitally through social media, dating apps, and texting.
People in this situation can’t explain the reason behind their infidelity. That said, there are usually several underlying reasons (they may be all of the above).
25 Signs That Your Wife Is Cheating on You
Here are the cheating wife signs you need to look out for if you suspect she’s having an affair:
1. She Is Lying to You, Even When It Comes to Little Things
Dishonesty is a red flag in relationships, especially marriages, and It’s a major sign of a cheating woman.
If your wife starts lying or using the following avoidance strategies out of the blue, she may be cheating on you:
- She avoids you all the time.
- She stops going to places with you.
- You find out that she has been lying about small things.
- Her friends get anxious when they’re around you.
- She seems more secretive.
- She wanders all the time.
- Your spouse accuses you of cheating on her with no proof.
Remember that it may be all in your head, so don’t make any impulsive decisions before talking to your wife first.
2. She Hangs out with Single Friends and Parties More Often.
Do you know the expression, “misery loves company”?
Well, if your wife is thinking about cheating on you (or already has), she’d want to spend more time with her single friends partying around. That’s because her bogged-down friends would probably lecture her ear off about the sanctity of marriage – something that she wouldn’t want to endure when having an affair.
3. She Shows Indifference to Your Life
A cheating spouse might be able to keep the charade of a happy marriage at first, but after a while, she may be unable to stop thinking about her lover, even when they’re around you. If your wife stops caring about your family life and her mind wanders whenever you’re talking with her, she may be thinking about her new flames.
4. Your Wife Is Avoiding Your Friends and Family Members
Think about it, if your wife is indeed cheating, she’d want to spend as little time as possible around you or your inner circle of friends and family members. That’s because the more time she spends around them, the higher the chances of her slipping up and accidentally revealing something about her affair.
There’s also the fact that if the affair has been going on for long and she plans on leaving you for her affair partner, she’d naturally want to build a life that doesn’t involve you or anyone you know for the transition to be easier.
As always, don’t hesitate to bring up the subject with your wife, as she may simply have a problem with a particular friend or family member because of something they did.
5. She Gets Angry with You More and More Often
Couples fight and get angry at each other all the time, but such fights usually revolve around important stuff. On the other hand, a wife who’s mostly checked out of her marriage might feel that every little thing her husband does is beyond aberrant, which can lead to fights that make no sense to the partner on the receiving end. Furthermore, when she gets angry with you no matter what you do, it makes it easier for her to justify her own mischief.
If any of that sounds familiar, something no-so-kosher may be going on.
6. She Spends More Time Away from You
According to a study by David C. Atkins, Ph.D., one of the earliest cheating signs is spending too much time apart. If your wife starts spending too much time away from you and actively avoids you during that time, she may be looking for a new man who’s willing to pick up the slack and do the work in a relationship.
7. She Becomes Noticeably Lazier with Household Chores
This is a weird cheating sign, we know, but if your wife suddenly becomes noticeably lazier with household chores, it may be a manifestation of her general disinterest in your life together. Either that or her energy is being directed for her own pleasures, making it hard for her to keep her end of the domestic bargain up.
Keep in mind that it can also be a sign of a mental health issue, such as a depressive episode, so try talking to her about it if this is the only sign you’ve noticed.
8. Your Wife Always Picks Up the Mail and Deliveries First
It’s normal for your spouse to pick up the mail and home deliveries from time to time, but if she insists on doing it every single time, something may be off.
Why, you ask?
Well, two things:
- The delivery guy may be none other than her affair partner, in which case she’s using the delivery excuse to see him frequently.
- Her affair partner may be sending her letters and stuff through the mail to avoid raising suspicion by calling her frequently.
In any case, a simple way to find out if this is actually a sign of cheating is by telling your wife that you’ll get the mail or the delivery and see if she gets anxious about it.
9. Your Wife Spends Less and Less Time with You.
This is one of the surefire signs your wife is cheating.
Let me take you through a couple of hypotheticals:
- Normally, you go grocery shopping with your wife every Sunday, but recently she’s been making up excuses as to why she needs to go alone because “she’s going to meet a friend for lunch” or “get her nails done.”
- Usually, you go on a date with your wife every Friday night, but recently she’s been canceling her plans with you because she has “work to do” and “emails to respond to.”
- Typically, you eat dinner together every night because that’s the perfect time to catch up and talk about your days, but your wife starts having dinner alone “to save time.”
Does any of that sound familiar, or have you been in a similar situation recently?
Well, all of the reasons she has been presenting might be true, or she may be having an affair. Talk to her about why she’s been spending less and less time with you, and if she gets anxious or starts overexplaining, something not-so-great may be happening behind your back.
10. She Starts Checking out Other Men More Often
Let’s be honest, everybody looks. There’s nothing wrong with checking out other people to a certain healthy degree (for both you and your partner). That said, wives who cheat check other men much more than wives who aren’t on the prowl. If your wife is checking out other men more than normal, it’s never a good thing, and it can be one of the signs your wife is having an affair.
11. She Keeps Her Phone with Her All the Time
Let’s be honest, these days, we all do it. I mean, what would you do while you’re pooing if you don’t take your phone with you?
So, when does this become suspicious?
Simply when your wife gets anxious whenever you’re near her phone and refuses to leave it beside you even when she’s getting a glass of water. If that’s the case, it may be one of the signs she is cheating.
12. She Has Changed Her Phone and Laptop Passwords
This is a major red flag, but only if she has never minded sharing her password with you before. In that case, her changing her passwords because “someone is trying to hack her” or any other excuse may simply indicate that there’s something she doesn’t want you to see, such as sensual massages.
If you’ve never been the kind of couple who share phone and laptop passwords before, this should not be considered a sign of cheating.
13. Your Wife Has Opened a Separate Bank or Credit Card Account
Many spouses have separate accounts or credit cards; there’s nothing wrong with that. But if your relationship has been in a patch and suddenly there’s a new credit card or bank account in the picture, it may be indicative of cheating. Thar’s because a separate account may or may not be used to hide suspicious expenses or save money for a looming divorce.
So, if your wife has opened a separate bank account or got a new credit card and can’t explain why she’s done it, it’s probably one of the signs your wife is cheating with another woman or man.
14. She Has Stopped Being Jealous
If your wife starts being okay with you being the object of affection by other women, she may be using that as a way to accuse you of cheating or as a form of justification to accept incoming flirting directed toward her.
15. Her Photos and Social Media Statuses Have Changed
If the relationship status on your wife’s social media profiles has been recently changed or removed, she may not be as faithful as you thought.
Why, you ask?
Simply because many women who want to have an affair for whatever reason use this tactic to show potential partners that they’re “single and ready to mingle.”
Good news for your wife’s Facebook friends, but news for you.
16. She No Longer Says, “I Love You”
Only consider this one of the signs of a cheating woman if it represents a change compared to prior behavior. If your wife stops saying “I love you” as frequently as she used to or often forgets to do it, one of the physical signs your wife is cheating.
If your wife was never one to say “I love you” regularly, look for the little things she used to do to show her love. If they’re missing, it’s a sign – and not a good one.
17. She Accuses You of Cheating
Cheaters love projecting their own behavior on other people. It’s basically a form of manipulation, where they shift the focus from their own suspicious behavior to you in order to keep you so busy defending yourself that you stop paying attention to what you’re doing.
Accusing you of cheating may also be one of the signs of cheating wife guilt, where she tries to justify her unfaithful act by convincing the both of you that you’re a cheater.
18. Your Wife Is Unreachable for Long Periods of Time
If your wife is always on her phone when she’s around you and suddenly becomes unreachable when she’s not, that’s a change worth noting. It wouldn’t be out of line to quiz her on the matter and see how and what she responds.
19. She Tells You She's Not Happy
As every man knows, an unhappy wife is an unhappy life for everyone she interacts with.
If your wife tells you she’s not happy, that unhappiness has probably been brewing for a while. There’s no way a loving wife would say something as hurtful to her husband out of the blue. Chances are, the “I’m not happy” comment will quickly be followed by “… which is why I’ve been saying someone else.” No husband wants to hear that, but sometimes it’s better to hear it than not.
20. She Refuses Intimacy and Sex
It’s common for your sex life to have its ups and downs after tying the knot, but the following warning signs can indicate an affair if they happen all of a sudden:
- Your sex life is non-existent because your wife never initiates, nor does she go with the flow when you initiate intimacy.
- She starts introducing new things in sex even though she has never been interested in trying new stuff before. After all, new tricks must be learned from someone, and if that person isn’t you, she may be getting her inspiration from another man. Keep in mind that she may actually be trying new things she saw in pornography or read about in articles, so be upfront about it before taking any unreasonable decision.
- There’s less connection or intimacy in your relationship.
- One of you gets a sexually transmitted disease that you’ve never had before. Something to remember here is that, according to Healthline, some viral STDs can be contracted from toilet seats, contaminated fabrics, contaminated blood transfusions, and other mediums.
21. She Doesn't Trust You Like She Used To
A good husband should be his wife’s lover, best friend, and go-to confidante, especially in times of need. If you find out that your wife is confiding in you less and less, it may indicate that she has replaced you with someone else to be both her confidante AND her lover.
22. Your Wife Has Begun to Look Sexy More Than Normal
If all of a sudden, your wife starts going to the saloon way more often than usual to groom, get her eyebrows done, and clean her bikini line, then it might be worth considering that she’s not doing all of that for you. Women don’t usually start caring about looking sexy and flowery out of nowhere. There’s usually a reason behind that, and someone else might be in the picture if she's not doing it for you.
23. She Dresses Up Often and Buys New Underwear Items
There’s nothing wrong with taking care of one’s looks and appearance. That said, when such care is combined with other suspicious behaviors, it may mean a cougar is getting ready to pounce in a different direction.
Here’s what you need to look out for if your wife is already suspicious:
- She has a sudden increase in interest in her looks.
- She starts buying new underwear items – items you never get to see in intimate situations.
Don’t hesitate to bring up the subject with your partner because she may be going through something, and her interest in her looks may be simply her way of dealing with it.
24. She's Got New Social Media Habits
If your wife starts posting everything on social media, especially indecent pictures, you might want to check who’s following her or if she’s getting comments from guys you don’t know or don’t trust.
25. She Is No Longer Interested in Your Social Life
If your wife is no longer interested in your social life or where you spend your time, it may be a sign of cheating. That’s because she may be shuffling you off to the side so that she can get more free time to get into mischief.
So, If Your Wife Is Really Cheating, What Should You Do?
The first step is always communication. That said, most of the time, when you confront a cheating partner about their abnormal or suspicious behavior, they’ll simply deny it. After all, if you don’t have concrete proof or evidence, your wife would never admit to infidelity.
If you do find out that your wife is cheating, there’s a hard question that you need to ask yourself, which is, “Is my marriage worth saving, or should I simply throw in the towel?”
Give yourself some time to process the whole thing. Emotions can run wild after discovering that your wife had or is having an affair, so you should speak to a therapist. That’s because a professional can help you sort through your emotions and guide you on what steps to take next.
How Do You Save Your Marriage and Does It Make Sense?
First, keep in mind that it’s not your fault, and you wouldn’t be the one ruining your marriage if you decide to get a divorce. After all, your wife has already done that for both of you.
You should only try to stay with your wife and save your marriage if you know for sure that you can actually forgive her and move past the whole thing. It doesn’t make sense to do it if you know you’ll always resent her for what she did. Even if kids are involved, they’d prefer having happily divorced parents over parents who resent each other.
Signs My Wife Is Cheating – FAQs
How Many Married Women Cheat On Their Husbands?
Generally speaking, men are more likely to cheat than women. That said, research shows that the gender gap is getting smaller, especially among younger people.
According to data from the National Opinion Research Center’s General Social Survey (GSS) from 2018, 20% of men and 13% of women said they’d had an affair while married. Then there’s a study by The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University that found no significant gender differences in the report of infidelity among the participants, who have an average age of 31.
What Are The Warning Signs That Your Wife Is Cheating?
We’ve listed the cheating wives’ signs above.
How To Know If Your Wife Is Cheating?
To know if your wife is cheating, you should look carefully for the signs of infidelity in a woman, which we’ve detailed above.
Why Is My Wife So Secretive With Her Phone?
There should be no secrets between a man and his wife in the context of marriage, so unless she’s hiding confidential stuff (such as work data) or organizing your birthday party on Facebook, your wife being overly private with her phone can be one of the signs your wife is cheating.
Why Do I Feel Like My Wife Is Cheating?
If your gut feeling tells you your wife may be cheating, it’s time to dig around for some evidence to either confirm or deny what your intuition is telling you. To do that, look for the signs of women cheating we’ve detailed above.