Don't know how to cope with a lying husband, or you're not sure if he lies to you? Then, you've got to the right place.
This article talks about different things that drive people to lie in marriage. You will also get to know how to identify a liar's behavioral patterns. And that’s not all! Stick with us to the end to discover how to determine truth with a 100% certainty.
Why Does My Husband Lie to Me?
People lie all the time. Most of the time, we do it because we don't want to hurt those close to us. Sometimes, we resort to dishonesty in order to save face or to avert a scandal.
With that said, there are different kinds of lies: an ordinary lie and a white lie.
A white lie can help prevent conflicts. And, let's face it, sometimes you would prefer not to hear a harsh truth. Don't deny it. By the way, can you be completely honest with your husband about everything? Most people can't be totally honest with themselves. Should you really be surprised if your man can exaggerate and embellish the facts from time to time?
A blatant lie, on the other hand, is when your husband has something important to conceal. It is rarely driven by honorable motives. On the contrary – people who lie all the time become accustomed to it so much that they start to find telling the truth difficult. And that's a surefire way to break the trust in a marriage.
So, what are the reasons why your husband would resort to making blatant lies?
- He is having an affair. Your partner may be cheating on you. There are some definite signs that can reveal that (and we are going to talk about them in a minute).
- He doesn't want to deliver on his promises. Did your husband pledge to do something important (like stop smoking, drinking, or gambling)? His lies and unusual behavior can be explained by his inability to stand by his word.
- He is afraid to take action. It is not just fear or laziness that drives people to tell lies. It can be that his feelings for you are not what they used to be. Some husbands conceal things like that deep inside and resort to lying. In that case, dishonesty becomes a defense mechanism of sorts.
8 Signs That Your Husband (or Spouse) Is Lying to You
How to make sure that your partner is dishonest?
It's not high science. Based on our experience, all liars and cheaters expose themselves sooner or later. Therefore, the signs we are going to list are all quite obvious. You just have to keep your eyes open to figure them out.
Without further ado, let's see what clues can reveal a lying partner.
1. Unusual eye movement
You have probably heard that people who lie tend to hide their eyes. In general, it tends to be a good indicator of a lying husband or spouse. According to a study made by The Swaddle in 2018, a person who maintains eye contact during conversation is less likely to lie to you.
There’s just one problem – your partner has probably heard about this as well. That’s why there is a risk that your husband will try to keep looking you in the eye to appear more honest.
Notice how your partner's eyes behave during regular conversations. Either too little or too much eye contact is a good indicator that your man has something to hide.
Of course, you should not focus solely on the eyes.
2. Body movement
Hand and body movement is one of the best indicators of a lying spouse or husband. According to Dr. Lillian Glass, it’s important to note the time of the movement.
Here is an example. If a person starts gesturing too much after answering a question or after making a statement – it's more likely that he or she is lying.
What other gestures can give away a liar? Here are some of them:
- Cocking the head from side to side
- Rocking back and forth
- Biting or rolling lips
- Shuffling with the feet
- Incessantly touching the face and mouth
These signs are not a sure-fire way to tell if someone is not truthful. However, they can help identify a liar if you were able to spot other “symptoms” as well.
3. He guards smartphone with his life
Nowadays, smartphones have become a window to the soul. An average person spends about 3 hours a day glued to the screen of a mobile device. And the majority of phone screen time is spent on social media and messaging apps, as well as email.
That gives a lying husband all the more reasons to protect his smartphone at all costs. If you gain access to his mobile device and the content of the messages – you may be out for a surprise.
By the way, most cheaters and liars share behavioral patterns when it concerns mobile devices. You can easily spot a lying husband if you notice some of the following:
- He keeps the phone locked behind a password (he may have even disabled Face Unlock so you won't get a chance to get access while he's sleeping)
- All of the notifications are hidden (you can't see the content of the messages on the screen unless you unlock the device)
- Nothing can separate your partner from his phone – not even bathroom
- He gets easily distracted by the sound of a messenger notification
- Your husband always places the phone with a screen facing downwards
A smartphone is a great tool in the right hands. It can help you catch a lying spouse or husband – with the right app. Want to know more about it? Scroll to the end of this article to learn how!
4. Fake smile
Based on research, people find it harder to control the upper half of the face. That’s why people put on an obviously fake-looking smile when they are not honest. If your husband tells you something with a “reassuring” smile while having a detached look in his eyes – it's a sign that he is not honest.
5. Overly defensive behavior
Try to remember if there were times when your man suddenly became too defensive when confronted with a question. It may be that he was too focused texting someone on the phone, and when you asked him an obvious question: “Who are you messaging?” he quickly got worked up.
This kind of behavior is a type of defense mechanism. It is not normal for an honest partner to get angry over simple questions like that. And that makes it a good sign that he is lying.
That also includes people who over-explain things. Some people are so bad under pressure that it is impossible for them to be concise. This is why you shouldn't believe a man who starts a long monologue after an inquiry about where he spent the time with his friends last evening.
At the same time, being too concise is also a sign of a bad sign. Let’s see why.
6. Being too vague about the details
There is another proven indicator which can apply to a lying spouse or husband. It is when your partner does not want to give you a proper explanation.
It is easy to get caught up in the lies. Therefore, many people deliberately omit essential information. That gives them more room for maneuver if they get caught on a little lie.
Talking about a slip of the tongue…
7. Lying about the insignificant things
There is a good old saying that goes something like “a little lie generates a big distrust.”
Believe us; it is unwise to take this sign lightly. On the contrary! You should see it as a wake-up call.
Let's imagine that your husband is not truthful about supposedly unimportant stuff. Does it mean that he is lying only about the insignificant things? Of course not! It is more likely that he got accustomed to being dishonest with you and does it at every opportunity.
8. Other sudden changes in behavior
Now, let's analyze your partner's recent behavior. Think about what has changed in the past weeks or months. Was there a point when his or her behavior got increasingly uncanny without any logical reason?
Take some time to reflect on it. If the signs mentioned above add up (and his or her recent behavior doesn't) – then it should be evident that your significant other is a liar.
How to Tell If Your Husband Is Lying (For Sure)?
Sometimes, sign-reading is not enough. You can verify if your spouse or husband is lying to you using other methods. Both of them can be done by getting access to his or her smartphone.
People are accustomed to storing their secrets on mobile devices. Messaging apps and social media networks have become one of the most popular tools for meeting new people. According to statistics, over 10% of all affairs begin online.
Here are the most popular ways to learn about your husband’s secrets.
Get access to messaging applications
We already mentioned that messengers and social media apps are the most commonly used programs on mobile devices. That's why you are sure to find something interesting if you were to get access to it.
Here the things to look out for in these apps:
- Contacts at the top of the chat list (these are the people your husband or spouse talks to the most)
- Archived and “secret” chats
- Contact names with emojis in them (or obviously made-up names)
We also recommend double-checking some of the contact numbers with your Address Book (Contacts).
There's a chance that one of your friends is added to your husband's list under a false name. As you can surmise, it is a sure-fire way to know that he's lying (or even cheating on you).
Install a Spy app
Installing a parental control software (commonly known as Spy apps) is the best way to get to the truth.
Let’s take the uMobix as an example. It's fairly easy to set up and configure even if you are not a tech-savvy person. By taking about 10 minutes to install this program on your partner's phone, you will get access to:
- His contact list (including the call log)
- SMS and texts in messaging apps
- Email messages
- History of his web browser
- Screen time
- GPS location
You won’t need to worry about your husband deleting texts and clearing browser history to cover the tracks. All of the information about his conversations and whereabouts will be available to you in real-time.
What to Do When Your Husband or Spouse Lies to You?
Let's assume the worst. What if you ask yourself: “What should I do if my husband lies to me ALL the time?“. Here are the things you should do:
- Think about yourself. Do you think that your marriage is worth saving at all? Dedicate time to think about your relationship – it is not that easy as you think. Plan your next actions only after you sort yourself out.
- Talk to your husband. Don't throw endless accusations even if you are too angry with him (unless your goal is to get a divorce). Try to listen as well. You both should give each other some room for explanations. Maybe you could both arrive at a consensus and change your behavior for the better.
- Seek professional help. Regaining trust is an excruciatingly difficult process. As a matter of fact, when our relationship cracked, we had to go through dozens of therapy sessions to restore our marriage. Thus, you should not shy away from psychologists and family counseling professionals.
- In the meantime – keep gathering evidence. A word of advice: don't confront your husband before you get significant proof that he is lying to you. We recommend using a Spy app (like the one mentioned above) to be absolutely certain. You can use it to learn if your husband still does things behind your back even after you have confronted him.
Lying is an indispensable part of any relationship. It's sad but true nevertheless. What is more important: does he conceal the truth out of politeness (so-called “white lie”), or does he do it to cover something significant (like the fact that he has an affair)?
We hope that our article will help you to figure out how to confront a lying husband. If you have any more questions – feel free to take a look at the FAQ section.
FAQ: THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW
Does your husband's (or spouse's) behavior puzzle you? We can help you find the reason behind his actions.
Our marriage has endured many difficulties. There were lies, deception, and even infidelity involved. But here we are – together and happy again. As our experience tells us, anything is possible with enough dedication and willingness.
We regularly receive letters from our readers to help them with their problems. Don’t worry – we value anonymity and won't share any personal data. Below, we will address some of the most prevalent questions we have come across.
Can you forgive and trust a lying husband?
It's not the question of whether you should forgive or trust him. Better ask yourself – does he deserve your support?
Liars and cheaters have a high chance of sticking to their routine. If you are sure that he won’t change his ways and you are suffering because of that – maybe you should consider breaking up.
What should I do if my husband lies to me about where he is?
The best way to verify if your husband lies about his whereabouts is to install a Spy app like uMobix. It will allow you to see the GPS location of his mobile device in real-time (among other useful things).
Why does he lie about little things?
He can do it to prevent conflicts or to get out of unpleasant situations. However, as time goes by, your husband can get accustomed to lying. In that case, it's crucial to draw a line before it's too late.
What to do with a deceiving husband?
It depends on your stance about the future of this relationship. If he is willing to change and you can forgive him – go for it. But remember people who cheated before have a very high chance of repeating it.
Why my husband lies to me about smoking?
Most likely, he doesn't want you to worry about him. The other reason is he thinks you would protest against it, and he does that to avoid problems.