We make mistakes all the time. However, not all of them are easy to brush off. Can your boyfriend forgive you if you got caught cheating? Is it possible to restore trust after what you've done to get him back? As our experience tells us, relationships can survive even through betrayal. And you shouldn't give up if you genuinely want to get your ex boyfriend back. However, you must be prepared to do some heavy work.
Now is an excellent time to think everything over. Ask yourself: why do you want to reunite with him at all?
Is it because you don’t have anyone to talk to at night? Maybe you’re frustrated that he's moving on with his life? If you want to get his attention only because you're bored, then you're better off skipping this article.
Are you willing to try your best to give this relationship a second chance? Then keep reading. Below, you'll find out how to get him back with 7 proven steps.
Can You Get Him Back Even After Cheating?
Good news: it’s possible to regain someone’s trust after you've been unfaithful.
Couples get separated all the time due to myriads of reasons. And infidelity is not that uncommon if you look at it statistically. According to research, almost 40% of all relationships in the US are tainted by cheating.
Nevertheless, a study on “Relationship Churning in Emerging Adulthood” concluded that more than 44% of couples tend to reunite.
This means that you have a chance to turn the situation around. It just requires a few major things on your part. What are they?
- A desire to change.
- Ability to listen.
- And the last, but not least- patience.
Interested to learn how to get him back? Then keep reading.
Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back with 7 Proven Steps
We would be lying if we told you that getting reunited with your ex boyfriend is easy. It's difficult even for those who ended their relationship on good terms. And it's much more complicated if your ex knows you've been unfaithful.
But let's not beat around the bush any longer. Here are our 7 proven pieces of advice on how to revive the relationship with your significant other.
1 Step. Don’t accuse 🗣️
Prepare for some heated arguments if the truth about your actions comes out.
Your boyfriend can yell and throw means words at you. And you probably deserve to hear some of them.
What should you do right now? Firstly, don’t start the blame game. It’s critical to hear him out now without mutual accusations.
Let’s be honest here. You did a heinous thing and got caught. Maybe your ex's behavior led you to cheat on him. The reasons why you did it aren't important right now. Just have the courage to accept the reality and apologize for it.
2 Step. Accept the inevitable 🤔
You should understand that the breakup is inevitable.
Betrayal is a severe blow to anyone's heart. It's not something that's going to absolve in the next couple of days.
Chris and I were in this situation ourselves. It’s impossible to deter a relationship from breaking when someone you love stabs you in the back. No matter how difficult, you have to let him go first.
If he ever forgives you, the trust will have to be rebuilt from scratch.
3 Step. Don’t beg for forgiveness 🙏
Picture your ex boyfriend in the same situation. How would you react if he began sending you tons of texts asking to give him a second chance right after you caught him? Let’s be real here. It would lower his image in your eyes.
You have to keep your dignity even if you are the wrong party. He doesn’t want to keep hearing how sorry you are and how you want to get him back. Right now, both of you need some time apart. He needs to get himself together while you need time to reflect.
So, how should you act instead?
4 Step. Distance yourself from him (for the time being) 🙇
It's safe to assume that you've heard about the “No Contact Rule.” In simple terms, it means lowering all possible engagement with your ex to a minimum (or to zero).
It's a basic but crucial step in getting your ex boyfriend back. However, many people fail at it.
We understand that it's emotionally draining to remain silent for a prolonged period when you miss him. But you should aim for at least a few weeks or a month of total radio silence.
This means that for during the next 15 to 30 days, you have to hold yourself from:
- Inviting him to meet somewhere.
- Telling him how you miss him.
- Reacting to his posts on social media platforms.
- Visiting places he frequents.
- Basically, from contacting your ex in any way.
No matter how banal this stage may sound – we can vouch that it’s effective. According to statistics, almost 95% of couples that got together again took advantage of the “No Contact Rule.” As we mentioned, it will give you both time to feel what it’s like being apart.
You should treat this stage as an intermission. In the meantime, you can focus on other important things required to get him back.
5 Step. Reflect 👈
A few days have passed, but your thoughts are in disarray. Your hand keeps reaching for the phone to text your ex boyfriend. And you keep thinking about how to make him want you back in his life.
Here is some news for you: he thinks about you as well. But now is not the time to talk. We should note that you can respond if he texts you back since you were in the wrong. Still, it's better to refrain from meeting in person for the time being.
So, what can you do to keep your mind off your significant other?
- Understand why you did it. Did you cheat on him because you felt neglected? Were you trying to run away from problems in your relationship? Be honest. It’s essential to sort yourself out before you decide to get your ex boyfriend back.
- Focus on self-growth. Was there any activity you abandoned during a relationship? Now is a great time to put your attention to anything that doesn't remind you of him. For example, you can concentrate on your career, hobbies, or the gym.
- Reconnect with friends. Reach to them for support. During the initial stages of our breakup, Dough used to have a couple of glasses of wine with her friends. It will definitely make it easier to endure. Also, it's much cheaper than therapy.
- Cut off all contacts with the “other guy.” It goes without saying that you should stop talking to the man whom you cheated with on your ex. You can't sit on two chairs in this situation. The best way out of this is to say goodbye and sever all connections.
6 Step. Draw his attention ⚠️
After a few weeks of silence, you can begin contacting your ex.
As you probably know, texting is one of the easiest ways to get his attention. But what to text your ex after “No Contact Rule” was terminated?
- Casually remind him about something personal (something only you two know).
- Ask for his advice about something that's he's confident about. Men love to feel useful because it feeds their ego. Just make sure to ask about the valuable stuff. That way, it won't look like an excuse to just write to him.
- Make him know that you're feeling great. At the same time, imply that you care about his well-being.
Be patient and don’t rush. He shouldn’t think that you’re desperate to go back to him or that you’re tired of being alone (even if it’s true). You should give off a different vibe. What does that mean? Allow us to explain.
Being together out of fear of being lonely is a path to a very brief relationship, as Joshua Klapow (clinical psychologist of The Kurre and Klapow Show) tells us. Why would he bother to reunite if he feels you're not going to last for long together?
To get him back, you should be tactical. Your behavior must tell that you have moved on. Apart from that, he must realize you understand the severity of what you’ve done. And he should believe that you’re willing to make a change.
7 Step. Listen to each other 💑
Now that everyone has cooled off is also a good time for another sincere talk about your relationship.
Ask him what you can do to get better for his sake. Then, tell him what drove you to make a mistake before.
If you're sincere, he'll believe that you won't repeat it if you get back together.
Remember that love is not science. There is no surefire way to get your ex boyfriend back if he doesn’t want that.
However, if he agreed to meet and listen to you – then you are on the right track. Stay on it and don’t haste. For example, casually ask him to meet with you again later. Next time, he'll invite you himself.
You probably won't even notice that you began meeting regularly. Enjoy your time together and play it cool. Leave the past behind.
In time, you'll get him back and build an even stronger bond than before.