Cheating Spouse Text Messages Codes

wife shows her husband incomprehensible text messages on his phone

Ciphers and coded messages were probably one of your favorite childhood games – there’s no better way to learn the true value of information, and knowing you’re the only one with the key is simply too exciting. Most of us never return to that pastime when we grow up, but there’s one certain kind of person who might still find a use for codes in their adult years…

How Cheaters Hide Their Tracks

When lovers go undercover, they will resort to all the possible concealment techniques they can think of to service their secrecy. Even a vigilant and suspecting spouse often has no means to catch a cheater online, let alone one blissfully oblivious to adultery.

couples hide their tracks

Infidelity goes hand in hand with technology, and there are simply too many tools and methods for one article, but we shall give you an overview of some secret apps for cheaters later on. For now, let’s focus on cheating spouse text messages codes and their meaning – you shall see how three or four letters standing together can lay waste to what seemed a perfectly healthy relationship.

The Complete List of Cheating Spouse Text Messages Codes

While it is true that some of the codes featured below have some ambiguity to them and may be used in a completely innocuous manner, it’s the context that sets apart the surefire signs of cheating from convenient everyday speech shortenings.

List of Cheating Spouse Text Messages Codes

Simply learning the codes by heart most likely won’t help you catch cheaters texting, but it will hopefully equip you with the knowledge necessary to begin tracking your husband's phone and discover the true depth of the rabbit hole he may have jumped into.


What used to represent the US Army doctrine regarding homosexuality in the military ranks later caught on as a call for secrecy. ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ used in a fitting context is quite enough to raise the red flag, as the cheater may thus invite their newly-found romantic interest to keep a low profile.

2. FFM

What’s the fun in a threesome if you aren’t an active part? Coming next on our list, ‘female, female, male’ is probably the most cliched sexual fantasy, so it shouldn’t come off as a big surprise your spouse might be discussing this steamy scenario with someone more open to experimentation than you have proven to be during the years of your relationship. 


Almost all online romantic acquaintances begin with an ‘age, sex, location’ request that sometimes gets expanded with ‘picture’. We can hardly imagine a case when a married person might be asking their potential business partner that, so stay on the alert and keep digging for more clues. 

4. DD Free

Some certainty and peace of mind would never hurt, especially when it comes to a sex side gig. ‘DD’ is for ‘disease and drug’, and ‘DD free’ is a ‘safety’ code often used when two are contemplating getting up close and personal anytime soon. You should probably be grateful to your spouse for taking precautions against bringing some nasty STD home from a night romp. Anyway, one can hardly believe everything said online.


You may firmly believe that remote relationships never work. You may even be right, for that matter. However, if you stumble upon this abbreviation in your cheating spouse texts, you’ve got another thing coming, as it stands for ‘long-distance affair partner’. Great, now you’re not just losing your significant other to someone – you can’t even go straight to their house and raise a little hell.

6. DTF

If there ever has been a sign that your sexual life in a marriage is in dire need of improvement, it’s when you spot ‘DTF’ or ‘down-to-fuck’ in your partner’s chats. Originating from dating sites, this one is exactly what it seems – one of secret text message codes to denote an unfulfilled yearning in the nether regions. Well, at least they’re not up to anything serious. ‘DTF’ also stands for ‘Department of Taxation and Finance’ if it makes you feel better.

7. SB

Do you happen to be married to a middle-aged or elderly man? If yes, chances are that his use of ‘SB’ means nothing else but ‘sugar baby’, a somewhat derogatory term used (to nobody’s harm) to refer to young women sitting pretty on their admirers’ charitable monetary offerings. The older he is, the higher the chance it is all purely platonic, but we suppose you don’t want to know.

8. Benching

A prudent cheater knows better than to put all their eggs in one basket. In a game of comparison and compromise that many affairs boil down to, advanced cheaters hide their tracks from both concerned parties and keep a rebound relationship ‘just in case’. Hence, if you glimpsed them texting about someone getting ‘benched’ (your partner is not a football coach, right?), they are either considering a comeback to the tried-and-tested partner or dumping you for that PYT.

9. SO

Significant other’ has sadly been used for sardonic remarks so much that we aren’t even sure whether to take this collocation seriously anymore. It’s not exactly the cutest term for denoting your love, to begin with, so our bet is that your spouse may very well be using it mockingly – keep those eyes peeled.

10. SD

Why look for love if cash is just around the corner? If the cheating wife text messages contain this abbreviation, which stands for ‘sugar daddy’, her husband should reconsider his financial habits, because she might have found someone much more eager (and probably much older) to reach for their purse at her command. 

11. IRL

One of the oldest acronyms born in the early Internet era and extensively used to this day, ‘IRL’ means ‘in real life’ and doesn’t look out of place in almost any conversation held online. As these are not the letters to raise immediate concern, don’t make any premature decisions, and research further.

12. SUB

With this one, we’re entering the murky Freudian waters of kinks and fetishes. A ‘submissive’ partner is habitually the receiving side in a game of erotically stimulating physical punishments. ‘What’s the deal’, you might think, ‘people can do whatever cranks their shaft as long as no one gets hurt’. Oh, but they do get hurt. And they like it. 

13. DOM

You must be thinking, ‘if there’s a receiver, there must be a dealer’, and you’re absolutely right. A ‘dom’, which is short for ‘dominant’, is the exact opposite of a ‘sub’ and derives utmost pleasure from what we would describe as a softcore version of the Inquisition practices. Feeling confused already? Go look up who ‘switches’ are. 

14. LTAP

If you have any idea how to justify an innocent use of a code that literally means a ‘long term affair partner’, we’d like to hear it – to us, this is an absolute showstopper that doesn’t leave room for ambiguity. Great to know the romance stood the test of time, isn’t it? Oh, wait, here’s a good one: ‘I was actually discussing my colleague, his wife is such a bore, he deserves better, but he totally can’t divorce’. Are you really going to buy that?

15. LY

You don’t want to see these two letters together at the end of a really suggestive message on your spouse’s phone because ‘love you’ is most likely implied. Some say love is a part hormone-driven chemical reaction and part habit. Think about it – they’ve been at it long enough to develop a habit for each other.

16. NSFS

Your colleague friend sends you a link to a post on a meme dump you both scroll during the slow hours at work. They mark it playfully as ‘NSFW’, or ‘not safe for work’ because there’s an unfunny lewd comic inside, and your boss won’t stop circling around your desk. Does that sound familiar? Well, change one letter, and things stop looking so mundane – one does not use the ‘not safe for spouse’ acronym for nothing.

17. NRE

No, ‘NRE’ is not a dull political debate club or a satanic church your spouse joined because of a midlife crisis. It’s ‘new relationship energy’, and things might get a lot different compared to what they’ve been for years. Have you noticed how your one and only suddenly stopped guzzling soda and took up yoga? It’s that new relationship energy, something you can’t get in a stable marriage. 

18. NSA

Of all the cheating text message codes featured here, this has to be the most widespread outside of the imaginative cheater community. ‘No strings attached’ does indeed take some time to write, so an adulterer in a hurry might go for ‘NSA’ instead when they want to stress the fact that their accomplice shouldn’t get any ideas about happily-ever-afters and stuff. We’d call that preventive planning.

19. MMF

Have you missed threesomes? It’s arguably harder to convince a lady with average sexual preferences to take on two in the bedroom, so if you see a ‘male, male, female’ combination cooking up in your husband’s messenger, you should at least give them props for outstanding persuasion skills. Or for exceptional open-mindedness if it’s your wife.

20. PAP

Imagine being called a ‘potential affair partner’ and then asked out in all seriousness. Even for our taste, as utterly unsympathetic towards cheaters as it is, that sounds decidedly dry and doesn’t invite any intimacy – still, the acronym is fairly common and may have wormed its way into your cheating spouse text messages codes.

21. EA

If you belong to the ‘can-forgive-sex-can’t-forgive-feelings’ category, finding this may be your worst nightmare, as ‘EA’ means ‘emotional affair’. What happens next is your call – we have no way of knowing how your spouse processes emotions. Maybe, it’s just about finding a more welcoming shoulder to cry on about poor life choices and the transience of being.

22. HL

Just like most online shops have tag systems for convenient product search, people looking for adulterous action will often gladly advertise themselves using code words for cheating. You would agree that ‘high libido’ is pretty marketable wording – snappy and to the point, sure to convert window shoppers into buying customers.

23. Silver spoon 

Thought we were done with financially stimulated coupling? In matters adulterous, a ‘silver spoon’ is not just someone born to well-off parents – it’s also a partner willing to bear the banking burden for their lover. Often this is someone of equal age, which makes it improper to call them a sugar daddy, though we don’t think you’ll care enough to pick the right labels when the reckoning day comes.

24. FWB

We’re almost finished with the rundown, so it’s time to throw in a timeless classic. ‘Friends with benefits’ is such a run-of-the-mill scenario that you wouldn’t believe your spouse actually became a part of one. If you don’t want to see your family life turn into a sitcom purgatory, gather as much evidence as you can from their messages and start learning to recognize the signs your wife is cheating.

25. LL

There’s no appropriate way to end this list on a high note, so here’s ‘low libido’, yet another opposite acronym. There is little consolation in the fact that your paramour might be looking for alternatives, but you can at least think this is because of your insatiable sex drive. Imagine, however, if someone opened their cheating wife text messages only to see that ‘LL’ is how she refers to them in a conversation with an eager stranger. Ouch!

What Hidden Apps Do Cheaters Use to Communicate

Almost any app intended for communication has a selection of know-how to protect user privacy – most often, it boils down to self-destructing messages, private chats, cloud vaults, etc. Be sure that when it comes to hiding a text message, cheating spouses will find and master all the concealment routines and methods they can lay their hands on, so let’s see what options are present in some common and exotic apps:

  • Snapchat. The mother of all hidden communications has basically invented self-destructing media and text messages;
  • Viber. The app is more complex than it looks and can pack some nasty secrets,  including hidden and self-destructing chats – if you’re late, you’re late;
  • Vaulty. Imagine spending months hunting down their lock screen password only to discover there’s another similar line of defense underneath it. Vaulty is genuinely good at what it does, and if they use it, you’re in trouble. Did we mention the app can disguise itself as a stock calculator?
  • Telegram. The range of tools is as formidable as that of Viber but with more customization and overall efficiency. Seems like you’ll have to look for signs she cheated on you last night elsewhere.
  • Silence. This one overrides the stock SMS app of a phone and comes with an ungodly range of encryption and locking options. Impenetrable if both cheaters have it installed.

What about the apps that claim to show up on the phone screen only when the user wants to summon them and knows how? Well, there is not much they can actually do to hide their presence from an inquisitive eye. A cheater deleted the app icon to fool you? Well, the software itself is still going to be listed in the app manager. The messenger was designed to imitate a system application and merge with the crowd of nameless utilities? Nice try, but the manager is going to display this one as well – and won’t try to stop you when you decide to delete it.

How to Get Cheating Spouse Text Messages

The review of the secrecy features above should have made you think about some possible countermeasures. Well, good news – there is a whole sprawling industry of spy and tracker apps out there, vying to give you the keys to the skeleton closet.

not only text messages

When properly installed on the target phone, mobile trackers can do pretty much everything – they’ll record videos and sounds remotely, log the tapped keys and make screen snaps, show the phone’s GPS data in real time, and record the incoming calls. You name it, and it’s there – today’s spyware is scarily powerful. Don’t get us started on their social app integration – the leaders in the industry offer seamless data draining from about thirty popular socials, from Instagram to WhatsApp. There is not much point in reviewing separate specimens, as such apps are all pretty similar. All you need to do before buying one is find an authoritative source of reviews and learn how the best iPhone spy apps differ from the equally worthy entries designed for Android. Good hunting, and remember to never act before you obtain irrefutable proof.

1 comment
  1. I saw this code on my spouse’s phone, but I think it is very simple to decipher and has nothing to do with cheating – BTW – By the way

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